I've been thinking of rewriting my profile page.

[capri0mni]

I've been thinking of rewriting my profile page.

Actually, I composed what's up there now when I was in the mood to try an Internet dating site (again), so that's why it's so heavy on the disability info.

NB: please refrain from the advice: "Internet dating never works! Go out and meet people in person!"

Because the truth is: I can not go out and meet people in person. I can not drive. There is no accessible public transportation. There is no wheelchair accessible taxi service. My aide can only drive me places on certain days of the week (no weekends) and only in the middle of the afternoon, or late morning. And all the social events arranged for people my age are either in the evening, or on the weekends.

So I know you're trying to be helpful and supportive, but it just hurts.

And dating with a disability is such a double-edged sword, because if you don't mention it in the early stages, you're obviously "hiding something important," and if you do mention it, then you're obviously "defining yourself by your condition," and/or "Have issues with personal boundries, and giving TMI, and need professional help."

So, in my online romantic profile, I talk about other things, and posted a link to my profile here, that clearly shows me sitting in my wheelchair.

But I have become completely disenchanted with that personal dating service (harmony.com), not so much because their system is bad or biased, but because you have to click through a dozen or so pages for each day's worth of "new matches," only to read the profiles. If you want to reply and engage this person, you multiply that by three or four. And with every single page, you're hit with animated pop-up ads, and my slow dialup can't handle it. So reading the five new matches I'd get each day would take several hours. I have other things I want to do in life. Also, every time you click on a page, Harmony.com installs spyware on your computer, also, they flood your email box (and they charge you for the privilege).

So, yeah. No longer interested, at least in that sort of connection.

So, old friends and new friends: help me (re)write my LJ profile. (I'm thinking, now, that I should rewrite it on a regular basis -- maybe in sync with the changing seasons -- just to keep it an accurate reflection of who I am at the moment.

Note: There was some sort of bug the first (and second -- and third) time I tried to post this poll, and it didn't load properly. So I deleted, and redid, it (trying again -- and again):

[F--- (Dash) this for a game of soldiers!] I'll try posting the poll in a seperate entry.

Comments

[scarfman]

What three words do you think of, when you think of me?
- Pro-fun
- Troll
- The third isn't a word so much as an unarticulated concept, because I haven't settled in my own mind what's the best, politest, most neutral term for me to use for handicapped or differently abled.

Do you like my profile as is?
yes X
no

What sort of things should my profile contain?
I dunno. I could give you the example of what's in mine, but that's mostly more about my LJ than about me, which wouldn't apply to yours.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Thanks for trying to work around LJ's apparent bug.

1. hm. Some people like "Differently abled," but it makes me ever so slightly uncomfortable for no reason I can put into words. I don't suppose this is helpful to you at all. Maybe because it sounds like it's trying too hard to be a euphemism?



2. Hee! Thanks!



3. ::Nod nod:: Which is why I made up that question as a list of ticky boxes (Which you couldn't tell, because of the bug). When I try again with the poll, I may rephrase the question as: "Which of these things would you be interested to read on my profile?" or some-such.