spiralsheep: Flowers (skywardprodigal Cog Flowers)
Humph ([personal profile] spiralsheep) wrote in [personal profile] capri0mni 2014-06-13 03:03 pm (UTC)

My first reaction is, as always, to the rhythm/sound....

4 thats in seven lines: things that scared - That always happened - young as that - something that they

The simplest fix might be "Which always happened"? Or perhaps "that" isn't as strong a sound/word in your accent (I tend to swallow vowels, especially in short familiar words).

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