Okay, I need to vent...

Then I'll be in the mood to get philosophical later on...

Went grocery shopping today... no big deal, but not really fun, either... my aide has a tendency to stride ahead of me, while I'm behind her in the wheelchair. It's not that I can't keep up, but that I have to be more aware of display stands (and other people) in the aisles, of which she is (mostly) oblivious (though she's better than some people I've been with)... And today, the store was rather crowded with people (or more crowded than ususal), what with the last minute shoppers for the holiday and all... So I was even more distracted than usual.

Also, when she asks me a question, she does not turn around to face me (so for all intents and purposes, she's really talking to the people in front of us), and she talks fast and quiet, so, considering that her mouth is also a good two feet above my ear, 8 times out of ten, I can't hear what she says. Today was even worse, because what was right at my ear level was the rattling of other shopping carts

Then, when we were leaving the store, and she was lowering the wheelchair lift on the van, an elderly gentleman came by to take away our empty shopping cart. I smiled and thanked him (because that's what I do), and he stopped to watch me, which I don't mind... it might help educate people as to why you do not park on the blue striped area next to a wheelchair accessible parking space.

But then...

Just as I was backing onto the lift, he suddenly made a move as if to grab right arm (which is the hand I use to control the joystick on my chair) and the push handle on the back of the chair itself.

I snapped at him in a rather panicky way before he could actually touch anything, saying something like: "Get away from me! I'm in control!", and he did back off...

But it still annoys me no end.

First off, it was damned dangerous. If he'd been just a few inches in closer, I could've run over his foot (and the chair, with me in it, is probably well over 200 lbs). Or if he had grabbed my arm, I could've lost control of the chair.

Second, it was damned rude. He didn't even ask, by word or sign, if I needed help, he just assumed -- because, well, you know, all poor cripples need help with everything. And also, they're not whole people, so they have no right to personal space...

Sigh... He looked to be in his mid-70's. So he grew up in a time when the handicapped were routinely locked away in assylums for their life, safely out of sight and out of mind,
So I forgive him, I guess. As far as I could tell, he might have been motivated by bigotry, but the pitying kind, rather than the kind that wants to kill people.

Still...

I'd also probably feel better about the first half of today if I hadn't woken up with a mild migraine -- no nausea -- or anything, just the feeling that I have a vice digging into the left side of my head, and it hurts a little bit less now than when I woke up. If I'd been able to take the headache pills sooner, it would be gone by now... as it is, it's another 2 hours before I can take a second dose.

I'll come back for the philosophical bits after that...

Talk to you all then!

My favorite New Year's poem

(the very last line is gratuitous preaching, you ask me, but other than that... 31 out of 32 lines aint too bad)

In Memoriam: 106
By Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light:
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more;
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife.
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times:
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease;
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

The clock is winding down on 2002

I heard somewhere that whatever you're doing at the stroke of midnight on the New Year will set the pattern for the whole year to follow, and that's why people traditionally kiss or hug -- to ensure love throughout the coming year.

I can't kiss or hug you all in person, so I will do it here:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2.... and ...
1

**Mwaaa!!**

{{{{{{Friends}}}}}}