Notes, Notings, and Common Refrains

One: I've (figuratively) fallen down with storywrights (with "Resolution to write," at least). First, I failed to keep up posts on schedule when I didn't any replies/participation. And second, I (re)discovered that I just don't have the brain power / stamina to generate original narratives while also trying to balance and hold myself upright in my chair (and my wheelchair back has been broken for over two years -- it's stuck in a semi-reclined position, and the company no longer makes this model of chair, so I can't get it replaced). For a while I was beating myself up for being lazy / not even trying to extend my attention span. Then, I remembered that back when I was a teenager, I couldn't walk on my crutches and maintain a conversation at the same time, either. I think my muscle coordination activity and "generate spontaneous language" activity are trying to drive on the same roads, so to speak. And this is yet another reminder that cerebral palsy is also a form of neurodiversity.

If I work out a way to give myself upright back support, it just feels like the bottled-up stories would come flooding out of me...

2: But I think I'm on to something with my idea of "Plot modules," though:

Situation → Disruption → Reaction → Consequence → | (New Situation)

I only managed to write out five of them for the whole of the six weeks I'd planned for "Resolution to Write," but using this outline form helped me realize that, in the past, when I've had problems with a story faltering, and getting (metaphorically) stuck in the mud, it was because I'd been writing a character's reactions without being clear (even to myself) about what disruption they were reacting to. Which, in turn, made the consequence muddy, which made it hard to shift to a new situation.

III: I think one reason I'm "meh," or "uncommitted" to my gender (even though I'm cis) is because, in this culture, your gender expression is judged as a success or failure based on how sexually and/or romantically attractive you can make yourself to the persons of your choice. And I Do Not Want to be either sexually or romantically attractive to other people. [/aroace things; annual Valentine's Day rant]

The Next to Last: "Grain Free," "Paleo-Friendly" Granola is not actually granola. It does make a good trail mix, however.

Fifth: (this came to me while writing all of the above): I think why I have no trouble writing Dreamwidth and Tumblr posts and replies while trying to hold myself upright and type, but my brain nopes out while I'm trying to write fiction w/o back support is the same reason I couldn't hold a spontaneous conversation and walk on crutches at the same time:

Having a spontaneous conversation with another person takes at least an order of magnitude more mental energy than monologuing (or talking to yourself). This is a written monologue (so is a poem, or an essay). Writing a fictional story is closer to having a spontaneous conversation with your characters (and the world they're in).

...Anyway. Just a thought...

One: Today is a sad day, when the United Kingdom will leave the European Union, and the United States Senate will grant the current President (and all presidents in the foreseeable future) the de facto power of a monarch.

2) The recent nostalgia I've been feeling for Broadway (NYC), and the theater performed there is tied up with a longing for the days of my youth (If I recall correctly, the last time I saw a play on Broadway was when I was a senior in high school, back in 1983).

To Be -- Back then, being able to go to the theater on Broadway was still an immense privilege, but not yet on the level of having to take out a loan to afford a ticket (checking Broadway.com, just now, the cheapest seats are more expensive today than the most expensive tickets were back then).

III. That said: I love Theater People. This week, I learned that the Legacy Robe is a thing that exists, and it kind of makes me teary-eyed (in a happy way) to contemplate it. From the Wikipedia article:

The Legacy Robe goes only to Broadway musicals with a chorus.
The Robe goes to a chorus member only, whoever has the largest number of Broadway Chorus credits.
The Ceremony traditionally occurs half an hour before opening night.
The new recipient must put on Robe and circle the stage counterclockwise three times, while cast members reach out and touch Robe for good luck. The new recipient then visits each dressing room while wearing the Robe.
The new recipient supervises addition of appliques from their show to the Robe. Important rules for adding mementos: for wearability, durability and longevity, add-ons must be lightweight, sturdy and reasonably sized so each Robe can represent a full season.
The opening night date and recipient's name is written on or near the memento, and cast members only sign that section of Robe.
The recipient will attend the next Broadway musical opening and will present the Robe to that show's recipient.

This is, up and up, a magic ritual of blessing. And I love that its a chorus member -- someone in the cast with the least clout in the eyes of the lay public -- who is granted the power to bestow this blessing.

D] Cole Porter's "Kiss me, Kate!" is really genius, as an adaptation of Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew," because people often forget that the latter is actually framed as being a play put on by a traveling acting troupe. So Cole Porter decided to write a play about an acting Troupe putting on an adaptation of "Taming of the Shrew." Very meta.

5: I appreciate how the Actors' union is called the Actors' Equity Association, because I like Equity better than Equality.

1. Favorite Things:

• Favorite new YouTube Channel, 2019: "Journey to the Microcosmos"
  
• Favorite radio show (not new): From our own correspondent (BBC)
  
• (Current) Favorite poem (By Sarah Kay, as part of a TED Talk) A bird made of birds

2. What I'm most proud of, in 2019: designing a Disability Pride Flag, and registering it, officially, as Public Domain (It came up, once, in a search on the Creative Commons website, when I was actually looking for a different image. But it's not coming up now, that I'm actually looking for it :-/).

3. The Saddest thing of 2019: having a dear friend leave the Internet entirely, because of personal safety reasons, with no other way for me to contact them.

4. What I'm most worried about, in 2020: Donald Trump being acquitted, without any consequences, when his impeachment trial finally happens.

5. What I'm looking forward to accomplishing, in 2020: Making videos of each of the poems in my 2016 chapbook: The Monsters' Rhapsody: Disability, Culture, & Identity. I've already made a video of the first poem in the collection:


But with YouTube's new Terms of Service, and their dodgy, algorithmic, response to the recent COPPA decision against them from the FTC, I may shift to posting the series on Vimeo, instead.

From Important to Impertinent:

1) The Hearse at the End of the Driveway: http://davehingsburger.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-hearse-at-bottom-of-driveway.html (Breaking the silence around mental illness and anxiety -- vivid, first-person description of what it feels like to have a panic attack).

2) A trio of strips from Robot Hugs: "Return" http://www.robot-hugs.com/return/ (a message from the future about life with mental illness) "Rat Race" http://www.robot-hugs.com/rat-race/ (A fable about/metaphor for job hunting today -- show this to people who say you're not trying hard enough) "Tone Policing" http://www.robot-hugs.com/tone-policing/ (an explanation of what it is, and what's wrong with it -- this is also another strip of theirs which includes Disability in their Diversity... This is the only strip [not specifically dedicated to Disability] that I can think of that regularly does that. So kudos to them).

3) "Mrs. Ribeiro" https://youtu.be/6GqMgLnluKY (a poem from Sarah Kay about happy learning).

4) "Science Wars" -- Acappella Parody: https://youtu.be/LTXTeAt2mpg (The old "Which field of science is most important?" debate, sung to the John Williams theme, aimed at high school students, and an infernal earworm, with puns).

5) Tomska Behind your Sofa -- a Mr. Weebl Song: https://youtu.be/8yW28zw5PpQ (Included to make the list an odd number, and also to complete the spectrum from "Serious" to "Seriously?!?!").

1: How long do you think it'll be before this recent picture of Pluto (7-7-2015) gets turned into memes, macros, and icons everywhere?

{... give me an hour, maybe, at least for here? ;-)}

2: On this week's Radiolab (Wednesday), there was an interview with two men who are both completely blind (Audio -- sorry there's no transcript).

The man whose blindness developed gradually decided that to be fully present and connected to the world, he had to break himself of the habit of "Visualizing" anything, and to conceptualize the world entirely using his other four senses. Because to do otherwise would mean clinging to his memory of a world that doesn't exist anymore.

The man who lost his sight in a single, devastating, moment insisted that to retain your full humanity, you have to imagine a visual world, even if you have to work at it, because humans are visual creatures, full stop.

Yeah. You can probably guess which side of the argument I side with; I'd be more sympathetic to the second man, if he hadn't insisted what was true for him was true for 6,999,999,999 other people.

Anyway, it occurred to me afterward that, compared to blind people, we sighties really live in a 2-D world (well, 3-D, but that's only if you include "Time"). Compared to the actual space around us, the surfaces of our retinas are really, really, flat. After all, that's the only reason we can get away with trompe-loeil at all.

3. The weather is brain-meltingly hot and humid, here. So this item will only be two sentences long.

4. Doctor Who Series 9 will start September 19th! Permission to Squee? I still don't have any headphones or speakers, so I don't know how the official trailer sounds.

But:

Does it seem like Capaldi's hair is channeling the spirit of Doctor Four? Or is that just me? ;-)

5. Speaking of dates in the calender being closer than they appear, I don't think I'll be able to meet my self-imposed date for getting Monsters' Legacy: Disability, Culture and Identity self-published. I mean, maybe I could. But only if I worked a lot faster than I seem to be able to at the moment (*points to #3*), and only if I skipped getting the prose portions beta-read. And I don't want to skip that. *sigh*

5: Halp! I've got My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean stuck in my head. It's the wriggliest earworm ever!

4: The late, fantabulous Douglas Adams wrote:

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

"There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

The other day, I had one of those "light bulb" moments, about what this means, and why it's true: Our UNDERSTANDING of the universe is as much a PART of that universe as GRAVITY is (since the only universe that exists [for us] is the universe we can perceive). So every time our UNDERSTANDING undergoes a fundamental change, the UNIVERSE undergoes a fundamental change...

3: A recent episode of Nova (The Great Math Mystery) tried to persuade the audience that numbers have a real existence, independent of human imaginations.* ( I'm not convinced )

2: So I recently discovered the TV series Forever (near the end of the season).

As I wrote in jekesta's journal a few weeks ago:

"But I do wish TV writers would get over the idea that the only good immortal characters are those who wish to die." and: "[The wish to 'cure' immortality] reminds me of the casual acquaintances in my life (back when my life had those) who would ask: 'Do you hope to be cured, someday?' ... When I'd answer that I didn't want to be cured, they'd look at me like live toad just hopped out of my mouth."

I'm mobility impaired, the protagonist in "Forever" is mortality impaired-- different difference, same struggle (actually, probably not, except maybe for the fear of what could happen to us if we fail to "pass").

But over the last few weeks, I've softened on that point, because Henry Morgan, unlike other protagonists within this trope (*cough* Nick Knight *cough*), has had a few people in his life who repeatedly tell him: "No! Your life is NOT cursed! And I'm NOT going to enable your cure-obsession!" Which is healthier. So maybe the disability rights movement has been having an effect on the broader culture? ... One can hope.

1: Speaking of-- woke from a nightmare, in the wee hours, this morning, with a racing heartbeat. All sorts of crazy $#-- going on, including (but not limited to) a call-back to the charred foundation of my mother's (and mine) childhood summer cottage, a filthy operating theater where a mad-scientist doctor was trying to implant formaldehyde-soaked monkey brains into a living man's skull (alongside his own brain), a talking Bengal tiger whom someone was trying to poison, etc. ... But this is what snapped my eyes open, and pretty much kept them open, all night:

I was sitting in a corridor, in a manual chair, against the wall (I think I was waiting for friends, who were there for an appointment of some sort), when two politicians came striding along on their way to a debate, arguing with each other about how the debate should proceed before they got to the stage. The conservative candidate, a woman, saw me sitting there, and said: "Oh, good! A prop! I could use that!" and got behind me to grab the back of the chair, so she could push me onto the stage for the debate. I said: "What the Hell do you think you're doing?! Get your hands off me!" But she completely ignored me, and just reached over my shoulder to undo the breaks on the chair, and I couldn't stop her.

End of sleep, right there. My subconscious: doesn't really do "subtle."

*(I'll expand that to Earthling imaginations, 'cause human minds, and lemur minds, and pigeon minds, and goldfish minds, etc., all co-evolved on the same planet, diversifying outward from the same code of DNA and RNA)

Just because.

1) This information tidbit has been floating around in my head since I first heard it, a few months ago, and I've been meaning to post about it:

Quote:

Learning new words stimulates the same brain center as such long-proven means of deriving pleasure, as having sex, gambling or eating chocolate, a new study says.

Unquote.
Where I found that quote, today: Sex, chocolate... new language?

I always knew words turned me on, figuratively... But it turns out they also do it literally. ;-)

2) There's a new-ish series on PBS (in its second season), called "Genealogy Roadshow." Between that, and the British (And America-clone) show "Who do you think you are?" I've now come to the conclusion that Genealogy is the new Astrology -- people searching for, and clinging to, explanations for their lives ... And, like astrology, it all works through invisible forces acting at a distance (only through time, instead of space): "My mother is an accountant, and my father is a tone-deaf real estate agent, but my third-great granduncle was a vaudevillian juggler; so that's where my drive to become a dancer on Broadway comes from!" Individual lives are so full of tiny, often contradictory details, that like horoscopes, we can all find exactly the parts of ourselves we wish to see. And like astrology, genealogy is cloaked in scientific sounding language.

...But I still like watching these shows.

3) I realized, in making a post, yesterday, that I don't have any sort of access filter for Disability-related topics (history, culture, personal confrontations with ableism, etc.). Should I? And if I made one, would you like to be on it?

4) I made a new journal icon, a couple days ago: (text only: "Beware of the Words" in the colors of an antique book)
I have an icon with illustration of Mother Goose flying on her gander, with a witch-like hat, and carrying her crutch, and the caption: "Beware the magic of words." But it occurred to me that detail is often inversely proportional to impact, especially if (as I suspect) the associated visual image has shifted in public awareness -- When people think of Mother Goose, these days, I doubt many of them conjure up an image of a spell-casting witch that could dive bomb you at a moment's notice. ...But that's just a hunch.

5) ( Gee, didn't realize when I started this, that I'd go into such a rant. TL;DR version: Dammit, people, write your own closed caption tracks!! ) If you already take the time to check your sound levels and lighting, to edit out bloopers and reshoot scenes -- in short, if you've already decided to make sure your work has some level of professional quality before you upload it to the public sphere, you have no excuse to skip writing the caption track.

I wrote a set of instructions on how to do it a few years ago and posted it here updated a few weeks ago since Windows 8.x has made it even easier than XP did.

1. Gratuitous Icon for this post:

2) Something silly:

But I tuned in for the poetry! And I can't find the clip anywhere!

3) There are videos I want to make and upload. But for some reason, no matter what I try (including fixes and troubleshoots that have worked before), my microphone won't record sound. :-/

4) Conjecture: The reason that many people think secular, atheist, scientific, worldviews are cold or aloof is that, in discussions of philosophical implications, the language typically used for science confuses meaning and process, as in:

Q: "What is the meaning of Life?"
A: "Life exists so that a species' genes will be passed down from generation to generation."

That's a perfectly valid description of the process of Life. But that has very little to do with meaning.

And no, I do not accept that science Cannot answer that question at all. I'll probably come back to this with a dedicated post.

5. If you could invent a holiday for a public observation and celebration, what (or who) would you choose to celebrate? (Again, I'll probably come back to this).

1) Still struggling with writer's ... not "block" so much as ... I dunno, "malaise?" "doubt?" "Cranky-pants-ness?" So, to give myself some positive incentive, today I bought a bag of my favorite cookies (ginger snaps), and will only allow myself to have the treat if/when I've met that day's writing goal. Sometimes, when my brain is acting childish, it helps to give up and stop pretending to be a grown-up.

2) Speaking of writing: now that I have a modern machine with a much faster microprocessor, and a bit more memory, I'm thinking of getting Dragon Dictate (or Naturally Speaking, whatever it's called, now). Question for those reading this who may have experience with it: is it worth it? How steep is the learning curve? Is there a better alternative out there?

3) Today is the vernal equinox in the northern hemisphere; yesterday, while drinking my first cup of coffee, I looked up to see one of the resident feral rabbits hopping through my back yard. Bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny! Yay!

4) Still getting used to "Whippersnapper." The most annoying thing is that when you first set it up, it requires you to choose a password -- and there is no way to bypass it; also, it automatically locks your computer and requires you to reenter your password every time it goes to sleep, which for me, is every time I take a bathroom or snack break ('cause these things take longer for me). I thought I'd set up my personal preferences to not lock it when it goes to sleep, but for some reason, it didn't take. Still, if I have to type my password several times a day, I'm not likely to forget it. But since I live alone, and this computer is a tower/desktop, if some stranger comes along and fiddles with my computer when my back is turned, I've got a bigger security problem than a password-- it means someone has picked the deadbolt lock on my front door.

One thing that does make more sense than older Windows systems: no more shut down menu. When you want to shut down the computer, just reach over and push the power button-- what a novel concept! Although, even then, Windows's default is to put the computer to sleep, rather than fully off -- as I have cats who walk across the keyboard, that doesn't work for me. That, I was able to change, but I still got the message on my log-in screen that "Windows will shut down in two days to finish installing important updates," so its still going by Sleep Mode as the default version of "off".

If "forty is the new thirty" I guess "Sleep is the new Off."

5) I was sure I had five things when I started, but by the time I got here I forgot the last point I wanted to make... then, I wandered off to YouTube and forgot to post this (what you're reading now is a "Restored draft"). While on YouTube, I watched a video listing facts about American TV icon Mister Rogers, then got nostalgic and went looking for clips... I found an entire half-hour episode that had a) one of my favorite characters (Robert Troll -- I was introduced to him, in childhood, before I knew about the nasty goat-eating troll) and b) it ended with my favorite song (It's You I Like). Would you be annoyed if I posted the video here?

It always kind of saddens me when I think about how Mister Rogers was never exported to other Anglophone countries, the way Sesame Street was...

l. My blanket poncho (birthday present) arrived. It's not as heavy-thick as I was expecting. But when I take it off, I notice that it had been keeping me warmer than I realized. My cat Trixie can't decide if it's the bestest thing ever, or perplexing, as it changes the feeling underfoot when she's trying to climb into my lap; OTOH, it's so fluffy!

2) Wherefore hast CBS.com not uploaded the latest new episode of Elementary? Without an antenna, I can't watch it broadcast through the air... but I still get all the commercials they would have shown me anyway, watching it online. If you've seen the episode, please to be leaving spoilers in comments...


3) Usually, I tend to stay away from things popular with large crowds of people, but recently, I've discovered the Vlogbrothers channel on YouTube. One half of the brother duo is John Green, who wrote The Fault in our Stars which has gotten positive reviews in my circles for a decent portrayal of a disabled main character, and treatment of living with illness (and which I have not yet read, but it's on my to-read list). The first time I watched one of their videos, the style struck me as off-putting and random (they tend to pop up in recommendations when you watched anything associated with geekery, such as Doctor Who clips or science videos). But, as with continued exposure to a new genre of music, I now find their style "catchy" in the same way music can be catchy. Yesterday, I left a comment on their most recent video and got 28 up votes in two hours.* Personally, I get more chuffed when someone votes up a comment I made than when they vote up a video. ... It's a sign that I'm contributing to the community dialog in a positive way. (Still got my pro-fun troll chops).

4) Daffodils are on the verge of blooming in my back yard -- the leaves are nearly full height already, and the buds won't be far behind. Friends! I've lived here going on seventeen years, and I'm still not used to the seasonal shifts down here. Daffodils are Easter's flowers! Not New Year's flowers! Ahhhhh! /o\ Full of Wrongness!!

5) I know I had a fifth thing... Ah -- now I remember:

Anyone catch the news, last week, that astronomers working with the Kepler telescope now estimate that there are roughly Seventeen Billion Earth-like planets in the Milky Way? And yesterday, on Science Friday, I heard one interviewed astronomer dude say that perhaps 6% of those are the right distance from their stars to harbor water-based life.

Suddenly, science fiction seems a lot less "out there" than it did when I was growing up....

(this makes me happy)




*what I said:
(quote)
As a lifelong user of wheelchairs, I have to agree that the fault is in our stairs (and also stares) -- my arch-nemesises (nemesi?)!

What is the plural of nemesis?

Also, guys! The Evening of Awesome was awesome (thanks for the clip of your dancing feet; I noticed you had your camera out on stage).
(end quote)