This last Christmas,
gordon_r_d sent me a pro-fun music mix, with two version of ELO's Mister Blue Sky. I'd never heard the song before, but it immediately struck that that song was about my father, though part of me suspected that reaction was just daughterly bias.
But then, about a month later, I got a letter from my cousin Sara, dated January 20, and as I worked my way through her handwriting (and spelling mistakes), it became clear that it wasn't just "daughterly bias."
I've included snippets of that letter behind the cut, presenting it as evidence to all of you -- spelling and punctuation "as is":
The great price people pay for having deep relationship with parents is the extreem empty~~loss when they die. And your father was way beyond fathers! A real channel of love and dispenser of joy. [...]
A very vivid memory comes to mind -- when I was 13 years old (50 years ago) my family lived on a walnut ranch in Santa Rosa, CA, and your father came to visit us wearing his Coast Guard uniform. He was so good looking My mother's friend who stopped by -- talked & talked with him and after that every time he came to visit 'mom's friend would "show up". But, one day of that 13 yr. old visit was special to me because your father spent time hanging on the white fence of my horse's corral and he listened to me talk about my horse and he really seemed to understand that my horse was my best friend. I never forgot that, and all the times I was with your father I knew how much he understood our connection to animals & trees & rocks --.
...Never mind, I'll remember you this way....
But then, about a month later, I got a letter from my cousin Sara, dated January 20, and as I worked my way through her handwriting (and spelling mistakes), it became clear that it wasn't just "daughterly bias."
I've included snippets of that letter behind the cut, presenting it as evidence to all of you -- spelling and punctuation "as is":
The great price people pay for having deep relationship with parents is the extreem empty~~loss when they die. And your father was way beyond fathers! A real channel of love and dispenser of joy. [...]
A very vivid memory comes to mind -- when I was 13 years old (50 years ago) my family lived on a walnut ranch in Santa Rosa, CA, and your father came to visit us wearing his Coast Guard uniform. He was so good looking My mother's friend who stopped by -- talked & talked with him and after that every time he came to visit 'mom's friend would "show up". But, one day of that 13 yr. old visit was special to me because your father spent time hanging on the white fence of my horse's corral and he listened to me talk about my horse and he really seemed to understand that my horse was my best friend. I never forgot that, and all the times I was with your father I knew how much he understood our connection to animals & trees & rocks --.
...Never mind, I'll remember you this way....
no subject
Date: 2007-03-03 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-03 09:50 pm (UTC)Yeah... me, too.
...I always feel uncomfortable about it, I don't know why
It is kind of... strange (I mean that feeling around shairing memories, not your discomfort). I think there's alway a part of me that kind of worries that if I say a memory I have about a person, it will be very different from the kind of memories of the other person... and if it is, my "sharing" might be more of an intrusion...
Mostly, that's a false worry, I think, because humans are mostly consistant. But the worry is there, nonetheless.
:::Hugs you back:::