Thinking about the darker sides to my life...

[capri0mni]

The problem with LJ's "current mood" system is that it only allows you to post one mood at a time. I don't know about any of you, but I hardly ever feel one thing at a time -- I could be really pissed that someone treated me with disrespect (usually in the form of talking to me as in that "talking to a toddler tone of voice" [ooh, alliteration!]), but feeling really jazzed about writing, say, the best poem yet just a few minutes before.

When I stop to reflect on how I'm really feeling, I realize that it's more like listening to a symphony by Beethoven. The flutes and violins are going great guns with the melody on the surface, and the timpanies join in the fray with their commentary on the whole thing (like Joel and Servo and Crow on MST3K, when the monster first enters the scene).... But underneath it all, are the basses, playing a darker, slower counter-melody that you don't really hear until you stop what you're doing, close your eyes, and sit down near the stereo speakers and listen.

LJ's mood icons are great for the flutes, violins, and timpanies, but they don't address what the basses are doing at all.

So I'm going to take some time to do that now... but first:

The melody line in my head today is saying: "alryssaAlryssa's story is coming along nicely! If only I could figure out how the heroine is going to defeat the dragon (maybe I should make it an ogre instead)."

The Timpanies are saying: "Damn! The weather's cold and wierd -- a Blizzard in the Outer Banks of North Carolina tonight?! What the --?! is going on, here?"

And those Bass violins: "I'm almost 40 -- they recommend mamographies starting at 40. My mother, grandmother and 3 of my grandmother's sisters all died of breast cancer. Mother's cancer was found when she was 48 -- by then, it had already spread to her lymph nodes... She lived another nine years after that, and had to live though it matasticizing to her liver and bones before it was over. She had my father and me for moral support and love to help her through it, though... Who do I have?

When I moved down here a little over six years, I expected by now to be in a relationship with someone... to have someone to clean house with, to break bread with, to sing with, to fall asleep with.... and I'm still alone... I don't want to get sick alone. If I do, you can be damned sure I'll fight like hell, and I may discover I'm not as alone as it seems right now... But, I really don't want to be in a position to find out.

When I moved down here, I expected to have my life go in a new direction, and I'm pretty much in the same place I was back then. Maybe I have grown, but just so slowly I don't see it... But still....

:::Sigh:::

Enough of that -- that counter melody will keep going for a while, yet -- so slow tempoed and repetitive -- back to what the flutes are doing:

If I make it an ogre, she could defeat it with wits -- or maybe a riddle -- **Yeah! that's Good!** Now ... what should the riddle be?

Comments

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

Make it an ogre... :) Dragons are very special to me (I come from a land of dragons, Wales, and there's one on the flag, even). My Guardian spirit is a brown-gold dragon, and I've never that I can remember been comfortable with the idea that someone would kill a dragon (since it's usually being provoked into attack).

:-)

Already an ogre...

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, Ryss -- the change has already been made.

And in my own defense, I only considered a dragon in the first place because the king who is commanding her to slay the monster is a corrupt and power-hungry king himself...

But, like I said, with an ogre, the battle can be of wits, and that's more interesting to read than some sort of mythological wrestling match ;-)...

Back to work...