So, this thing with Bullying...
Oct. 3rd, 2012 06:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
capri0mniThere's much talk in our culture, at this particular moment in history about the phenomenon of bullying... And the general, distilled, cultural meme that seems to be coming out of all this talk is:
"Children are, by nature, horrible, and cruel, and they need to have their broken, dysfunctional, compassion modules repaired by adults who know better."
And... that makes me very uncomfortable. Because? Frankly?
The vast majority of all the times in my life that I, personally, have been bullied, especially because of my disability and the difference that engenders (there's a part of my mind that is shouting "EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!" But I'm trying to stay away from extremes), has been at the hands of adults. On the whole, I have consistently (that part of my brain is shouting "ALWAYS!") felt much safer in the company of children, and respected as an actual human being.
And ...
On the one hand, I believe and respect the stories of people who have been bullied and harassed by children. And on the other hand, I want to respect and believe the stories my own memory is telling me about my life... without just dismissing my life experience as some "strange luck."
I sincerely doubt that I was visited by a fairy godmother in the Neonatal Unit of Strong Memorial Hospital and blessed (or cursed) me with a "backwards bully spell," after all.
Also, I think explaining bullying behavior by simplifying it to "Children are horrible little bundles of id and cruelty," is likely to miss the forces in the culture (at the adult level) that encourage bullying, so that the children who are so inclined will learn how it's done...
I've been puzzling my way through some hypotheses on how to reconcile my experiences with those of others... haven't gotten there yet.
But... yeah... that's kind of been circling through my mind, of late. So if you see a bunch of posts about this from me, that's why...
"Children are, by nature, horrible, and cruel, and they need to have their broken, dysfunctional, compassion modules repaired by adults who know better."
And... that makes me very uncomfortable. Because? Frankly?
The vast majority of all the times in my life that I, personally, have been bullied, especially because of my disability and the difference that engenders (there's a part of my mind that is shouting "EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!" But I'm trying to stay away from extremes), has been at the hands of adults. On the whole, I have consistently (that part of my brain is shouting "ALWAYS!") felt much safer in the company of children, and respected as an actual human being.
And ...
On the one hand, I believe and respect the stories of people who have been bullied and harassed by children. And on the other hand, I want to respect and believe the stories my own memory is telling me about my life... without just dismissing my life experience as some "strange luck."
I sincerely doubt that I was visited by a fairy godmother in the Neonatal Unit of Strong Memorial Hospital and blessed (or cursed) me with a "backwards bully spell," after all.
Also, I think explaining bullying behavior by simplifying it to "Children are horrible little bundles of id and cruelty," is likely to miss the forces in the culture (at the adult level) that encourage bullying, so that the children who are so inclined will learn how it's done...
I've been puzzling my way through some hypotheses on how to reconcile my experiences with those of others... haven't gotten there yet.
But... yeah... that's kind of been circling through my mind, of late. So if you see a bunch of posts about this from me, that's why...
