Notes, Notings, and Common Refrains

Coffee with milk, oranges, a candy-cane. Need to put together some real food soon, and then go wrap things.

I need to learn how to host things (as an intovert!) in self-defense.

(dotdotdot for relatives and holiday stress)

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Right now I'm feeling glad and grateful with a side-order of worried, because an old family friend dropped by with her partner and we had a good chat, but with some things unsaid. (I'm at my parent's house for the holidays, along with my sister; we're all pretty okay with each other, no major traumatic history, but there is still occasional friction which has serious layers because it's evolved over our entire lives.)

Earlier, I was feeling frazzled and wrong-footed and panicky, plus guilty and awkward, with an awkward wedge of gratitude in there somewhere. I lit a candle in my room for personal spiritual purposes, but my mother had previously asked me not to, and someone came in and took the candle at some point after I fell asleep, and it weirded me out and now I remember why I lived with a locked door as a teenager even though I like and trust my family, because they don't know how to talk to me instead of just...assuming they know what's what. Then before that, I was feeling so cozy...and before that, oh, I don't even know.

And now we're debating eggnog recipes and what to use up out of the fridge. *facepalm* My mother will never, ever, ever believe that if there is leftover cream, I will drink it in my coffee and this is not a problem. Nor that planning and picking recipes to use things up now mean one shouldn't be trying to save enough eggs to still have some of those on hand to maybe use later.

I just. *flails*