My ideal "Christmas" Holiday story, a la Seasonal Television Special: a checklist

[capri0mni]

Now, even though I'm not Christian (I'd say: "any more" -- but my mother had Pagan leanings for as long as I can remember, even if those leanings were 95% tongue-in-cheek), I still enjoy the holiday specials that pop up on TV this time of year. Mostly for these three reasons (and yes, in this order):

1. I can be assured the story will have a happy ending,
   
   
2. Even in stories aimed at adults (such as the special "holiday" episodes of regular series), when it comes to resolving the conflict and saving the day, all cynicism is suspended until further notice (well, until the first weekday after the New Year), and
   
   
3. Grownups are allowed to play and make-believe without being scorned or mocked.

But:

These stories also have recurrent tropes that I would be happy to never see again. And if (when) I ever get around to writing my "Ultimate Holiday Story" these are the tropes I'd love to subvert (somehow):

1. Mandatory Snow as the signifier of magic and happiness. Not only do "The Holidays" fall in the middle of summer for people in the Southern Hemisphere, there are plenty of people who live in the Northern Hemisphere who've never seen a White Christmas either.
   
   
2. Belief in Santa as a prerequisite for being on his "nice list" / getting presents. Because, let's face it: that's blaming the victim for their own poverty, right there.
   
   
3. You must forgive them -- because it's the holidays -- and they're family! And no matter how badly they've abused you in the past, all it takes is for them to show up in the last five minutes with a big, shiny, wrapped present as a sign of their regret for how they've treated you in the past, and all is well. I'd rather see an ending that shows the family working together to earn forgiveness and heal old wounds -- maybe with a scene of parent and (grown) child staying up late at night mending a toy that was broken in years past, so it can be passed on to the next generation...

Bonus:

• If I end up writing a fantasy, I'd try to even the score for the horrible way the Abominable Snowman was treated in Rudolph. the Red-Nosed Reindeer by having a big, toothy, scary-looking monster be one of the good guys -- and have their teeth and claws and such be totally incidental to their special skill or power.

Comments

[conuly]

Belief in Santa as a prerequisite for being on his "nice list" / getting presents. Because, let's face it: that's blaming the victim for their own poverty, right there.

This is also the worst part of some organized religions. You should not have to suffer for all eternity because of thoughtcrime.

[vilakins]

I agree. I always say that it's not possible for me to care more for people than God does.

[capri0mni]

Indeed. Especially since poor kids don't have the luxury of not knowing where their things come from -- they see their parents struggling to pay the bills.

[vilakins]

Optimism and joy and kindness never go amiss in this cynical age, and I do have some favourite fandom stories. However those do buck the trends you mention in the second bit.

1. But thank you so much for the snow thing. I get savage about people, down here in a hot summer, playing schmaltzy winter carols in shops, fake snow in windows, and in one of my favourite restaurant, snowflakes? Nicely done but seriously? Why do people want to pretend they live in the far north? Embrace where we live, people, and enjoy the summer - and let's have our own culture! I even read one story recently with fake snow on the Liberator flight deck. Feh.

I blame Dickens who lived through cold and snowy winters and made them part of British culture, and US song writers following that. I'm so glad the supermarket was playing Snoopy's Christmas when I was there today. I love that one!

Kudos to Oamaru Council for having non-winter decorations lining the main street though, in fact they'd work anywhere in the world (stars, bells, angels, Santa, reindeer...)

2. As for belief in Santa, I don't really approve of the whole "lie to your kids" and subsequent "lie to your parents about believing" shtick.

Plus I don't know if Americans have the elf on the shelf, but it's a thing in the UK I only found about about recently, set up to spy on kids and make sure they're good. That's downright mean-spirited, and I'd have flushed or burned that elf if I'd been subjected to it. I should say though that my parents never did the Santa thing.

[conuly]

Oh. We have elf on the shelf, but apparently most people don't do the whole "spying" story - the elf just comes to the house and hides in various places. And gets into mischief, which is awful. Some people half kill themselves figuring out new stunts for the elf to do every night.

[vilakins]

Ha, really? Better than the spying checking-up-on-you thing, at least.

[capri0mni]

1. Reindeer, though? By the time he got to New Zealand, wouldn't Santa be traveling by barge, pulled by nine magic dolphins (his chargers are clearly shape-shifters)?

2. Last year at Christmastide, on Tumblr, I transcribed a screenshot of a blog post (because those are useless to blind readers, who rely on screen-readers to surf the 'Net), of one woman's brilliant solution:

As soon as her kids start making doubting noises about Santa, she "takes them out for coffee," for a very grown-up discussion that, now, it's time for them to take up the mantle and be a Santa.

Their Job, she said, was to look around their neighborhood for someone who needs something, and figure out-- and get-- a gift for that person. And leave that wrapped present for them with a tag that says: "From Santa." And they are never, ever, to take credit for it, or let the person know they were the ones to give the gift.

With her eldest child, this happened when he was about six, and for his first gift, he decided to get a pair of slippers for an elderly neighbor who he had noticed was always barefoot when she went to retrieve her morning newspaper from the doorstep.

As for me, I fell out of belief in Santa, as a child, and then fell back into it, during my Junior year of college as I related here (I have a feeling that that story will be my go-to Holiday telling until the day I die -- and every last word of it is true).

[pedanther]

In Australia, there is a famous song asserting that when Santa delivers to Australia he switches the reindeer out for kangaroos. Apparently he keeps the sleigh, though; I guess if it's flying through the air anyway it doesn't matter whether there's snow or not.

[capri0mni]

I suppose... And both reindeer and kangaroos eat grass, so...

[vilakins]

1. I figured the reindeer go round the world so they're acceptable. I loved the Santas and reindeer they put up in Auckland, all in big sunglasses, and there are greeting cards with him on the beach in a deckchair, or surfing. Yoy for accepting who we are.

2. I love that idea! One of the few ads I don't FF or mute on TV right now is the Farmers (department store) one about a secret Santa; see it here. I should add that the milk and biscuits/cookies are an American import.

There's also a cute series of short ads about a man called Noel who might be Santa working at New World supermarket:
New World Christmas
It must be Christmas (we don't drink milk like Americans do so that's why the stares)
Santa's Grotto
Santa stocks up on carrots
Are you Santa?

As for your story, I believe it. I've had similar experiences, but I say it's God, but then my God isn't the cruel vengeful one so many Christians, esp Americans, believe in. I also like that you say Claus. Did you know that the original Klaus / Sankt Nikolaus, a bishop, used to pay a poor man's daughter's dowries by throwing gold coins from the window at might into stockings or socks hung up over the fire to dry, hence the stocking thing. I only just found that out.

[capri0mni]

Well, the spectrum of theologies I've lived through go from heavily-humanist Christian (specifically "Quaker" in theology but mostly non-practicing), though neo-pagan polytheism, to agnosticism, and now, atheism.

The question of whether any god at all exists has no answer that we can definitively know, one way or the other (so I'm agnostic in theory), but even if gods do exist, I would choose to not to worship any of them (atheist in practice -- some religions have one god, some have many, mine has zero). I'm going to focus on the people around me in this life. If there are gods out there, they shouldn't mind. And if they do get bothered by that, I wouldn't want to be associated with them... so... yeah.

Yes, I did know that origin story for Saint Nikolaus... Did you also know that the real Nikolas was (and this would really infuriate many White evangelicals if they knew it) a Black man? Here's a Tumblr post about that: http://medievalpoc.tumblr.com/post/56081827117/various-artists-saint-nicholas-nikolaus-bishop

[vilakins]

The question of whether any god at all exists has no answer that we can definitively know, one way or the other

Some say that's the definition of faith, but my personal proof is the experiences I've had like yours: hearing something (probably) not me.

THat's a very good philosophy, and one that a lot of cold-hearted so-called believers in your country could do with.

I did know that, though the Europeans seem to go with a white medieval bishop with Moorish helpers (Zwarte Piet). Maybe because of the whole "let's make everyone white like us and dress them like us" convention in art of those times, which might have made it more immediate to people, but probably is the basis of their white St Nicholas. Just like all the white pale-haired European Jesuses around.

Hmm. Perhaps the stocking in the dowry story are part of that Europeanisation; would they have been drying stockings by a fire in Myra? Some traditions have the money left in shoes, others with his throwing a bag of coins in a window. It's all very interesting, and whoever he was, he must have been a very loving and kind man.

[capri0mni]

would they have been drying stockings by a fire in Myra?

Since this was a Mediterranean climate, I don't think they'd have many fires (other than for cooking -- in which case, any dowry money might end up in the soup), so no.... And since this was also the early 4th century A.D., I'm not sure the poorest families would even have stockings...

I also really like the legend of La Befana, which has many similarities with our popular "Santa" legends.

I'm not sure 'which came first', but as Befana's cultural origins originate in the same place as organized Christianity, I would not be surprised if someone told me that all the different stories of all the supporting characters in the Christmas tale got mixed and blended as the faith spread outward.

I think, if there were no real historical person behind the year-end gift giver, we would invent one.

[vilakins]

Ha! I've not heard of her, but that must be where the American coal for bad children tradition came from, with all the Italian immigrants.

Yes, I think every culture added something they related to, like shoes, chimneys, stockings etc. We also got a lot from deliberate scheduling of Christmas at the same time as Yule and Saturnalia as we've kept elements of both, and a lot more.

Hanukkah OTOH hasn't changed much at all, like other Jewish festivals, except that it was once a fairly minor one that has only gained huge importance because of Christmas.

Not that there's as much fun in having Hanukkah - or Christmas - lights when the nights are so short. It's not till around 10am that it's properly dark.

[capri0mni]

Hanukkah OTOH hasn't changed much at all, like other Jewish festivals, except that it was once a fairly minor one that has only gained huge importance because of Christmas.

Well, the whole point of Hanukkah (aiui) is the celebration of the fact that the Jewish people resisted cultural assimilation... so...

Yeah.

I heard it said (by Jewish people) that every one of their holidays can be summarized with:

They tried to kill us.
They failed.
Let's eat! ;-)

[vilakins]

They tried to kill us.
They failed.
Let's eat! ;-)

Oh, yes! Just a pity that the foods for each festival don't match our seasons here. Same old story.

[capri0mni]

I've never been south of the equator, but even as a little kid, I got prickly over the fact that people in Australia (wasn't as aware of New Zealand when I was ten years old) celebrated Christmas in December, instead of June; by then, my mother had already taught me that Christmas rituals were a Winter Solstice holdover. ...I did say she was very pagan, despite being Christian on paper, yes?

But I've mellowed about it since. It could very well be that I'm now at a place in my life where I spend much of my time being homesick for my childhood home, but I now see the value of syncing your holiday activities with those of your extended family, and choosing that over syncing them with the regional climate. And I imagine that the homesickness factor would have been even greater back when the majority of English settlers to the region were teleported convicts, brought there against their will.

The difference between Cold Spring, New York and Chesapeake, Virginia isn't as great as England and Australia, but it's enough to still cause cognitive dissonance -- and I've already lived here 21 years. I'm still not used to the difference in seasons.

[vilakins]

Convicts were sent to Australia, not here. Most of ours were settlers who came to get land, though it was a hard life, and some "remittance men", black sheep paid by their wealthy families to stay well away. Even a couple of generations on, they'd talk about "home" meaning England, though they'd never been there. We have a lot of their traditions: mince pies and fruit cake (both yummy!) and there are still a few who eat a big winter-style meal.

I wish we could move all the festivals 6 months, but it would cause chaos. Wondering what "a spring release" means is bad enough.

I like the seasons here being much more defined than in Auckland: colder in winter and drier in summer. Many trees are beautiful in autumn, but then again they're the imports; all the natives are evergreen.

[capri0mni]

Yes... I realize that it's Australia, not New Zealand, that was settled by convicts.

But I figured that Australia is so big and so close, that there must be a lot of cultural attitude spillover...

Meanwhile, this video popped up in my recommendations, recently -- The video maker is in southern California, where it's also warm, this time of year, and it's five suggestions for Christmas themed Ice Cream flavors.

Seems like something better fitting your holiday: https://youtu.be/k5gDL6EePjI

[vilakins]

We do share a lot of culture, but there are differences. Australians are much more confident and outgoing, almost American. I think we would do well to borrow some of their pride in themselves, but still keep our fair-play culture that allows us to applaud opposing teams and not "sledge" them (insult players to put them off their game) the way Aussies notoriously do.

I've been eating ice cream lately, especially the local ones. My favourites are caramel (hold the salt, why ruin a good thing?), ginger, and coffee (not together). I've saved that video - thanks! - as the base recipe is so easy, and I could add powdered and crystallised ginger, or cold espresso, or dried fruit and nuts; lots of things! I've done it before by softening commercial ice cream, mixing stuff in, then refreezing, but this will be much better.

[capri0mni]

Glad to be of help.

Ooh... Ginger ice cream! I consider ginger to be one of my four food groups. ;-) and one of my favorite flavor combinations is ginger, orange and peach (I like to put frozen peach slices [from the freezer section of the grocery store] in a blender with O.J., ginger juice, and plain or vanilla yogurt, and make a smoothie out of it).

[vilakins]

My go-to-flavourings are ginger, lemon juice, and chili (sometimes all three in stir-fries) but alone is also excellent. Also coffee.

Ginger rocks! Ginger beer is the only fizzy drink I'll have apart from plain fizzed water. I also have ginger juice and syrup which both have many uses.

Have you tried Gin Gins from The Ginger People? They are the best sweets, especially the extra-strength ones. I found them while travelling down here (three days on the road and I get motion-sick on windy roads) but they're also great for random nausea or pain, or just to enjoy! It's their juice and syrup I have.

[capri0mni]

I love Gins-Gins!

Maybe I'll buy some for myself for my birthday -- they also make a coffee flavored ginger chew (I believe it has actual coffee), which I'm thinking of keeping on hand when I feel a migraine coming on...

Hm...

[vilakins]

I have the coffee ones: awesome! My favourites along with the plain ginger ones. Apparently there's a peanut one but I haven't seen that here; I'd try that too.

[capri0mni]

I've tried the peanut! It really is my favorite. But apparently, it's only sold in America...

Maybe I could send you a Christmas in June care package (When it makes sense for you)?

[vilakins]

No, that's fine. I'm really very happy with the strong ginger ones and the coffee one. Besides, I might end up craving it once I've tasted it, like a gingery chocolate bar only available in Australia.

[capri0mni]

Okie-doke!

Besides, if you have peanut butter, you can blend it with the ginger juice, and get a similar flavor (I also like to schmear
peanut butter on ginger snaps).

[vilakins]

Yum! I'll have to try that! I use Pix peanut butter, a local brand with nothing but nuts in it, and I'm so going to try it with ginger.

[capri0mni]

:-)