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capri0mniA few weeks ago, I wrote and posted this song as a rant against the religious types who rail against the Paganism and commercialism of Christmas, as a nice, friendly way of saying: "Yes, it really is all about the presents, and that's a good thing, you twits!" (of course, my reasons for believing it's good are all Pagan, so they probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. But it was something I needed to say).
Well, even though "The Christmas Season" is officially over, that song refuses to go back to its corner and go to sleep. It keeps telling me it isn't finished. It keeps insisting that I only ranted half of the story.
I got the "Presents are good, yes" down fairly well, but I think I left the point that "Giving is not better than receiving, dammit!" pretty foggy.
It's been a sore point with me nearly all my life, even when it's not "the season of giving." Maybe that's why the song won't go to bed. The fact is that being able to give something, whether it's a tangible present, or money, a bit of help, or advice, can bestow a sense of self-worth, and power. After all, it's proof that you have something to give.
But because I have a disability that's visible at 500 yards, lots of people seem far more eager to give to me than receive gifts from me. I'm in my 40s, and yet I've had workers in stores (notably Walmart, but also, bizzarrely, the local supermarket) try to press lollipops into my hands (People! I never liked lollipops even when I was 6!) . I've offered the space of the empty basket on the back of my wheelchair to fellow students struggling at a door with an armload of books, only to get the reply: "Oh, no! I don't want to be any trouble..." (If it were trouble, I wouldn't have offered, and it's not like I can outrun you, and steal your books). This attitude puts me in the position of being a perpetual child (or at least, it feels that way), and it gets old quickly.
Besides: "It's better to give than to receive" just doesn't make any sense. If everyone strives to be better, and everyone gives, and no one receives, to whom, then, are we giving? Receiving graciously just as hard as giving generously, and you can't have one without the other.
But I don't actually say that in the song, as it stands now. Here are the current second and third verses:
There is a new light shining in the dark
As fragile as a candle in the snow
Yet one small flame can light ten thousand sparks;
When passed from hand to hand, the Light will grow.
So when I fear the cold and darkness, too,
And sorrows seem to gather 'round my door
I'll open up my heart to love from you
And it shall light my way forevermore.
---
"So when..." sounds like a conclusion to an argument -- an argument I don't actually make (maybe my mind is flinching away from the sore spot). I'm now trying to write a verse to go between those two -- one that expands the idea that giving is empowering and receiving is sometimes hard, and trying to make it all fit into 40 syllables.
Watch this space.
Well, even though "The Christmas Season" is officially over, that song refuses to go back to its corner and go to sleep. It keeps telling me it isn't finished. It keeps insisting that I only ranted half of the story.
I got the "Presents are good, yes" down fairly well, but I think I left the point that "Giving is not better than receiving, dammit!" pretty foggy.
It's been a sore point with me nearly all my life, even when it's not "the season of giving." Maybe that's why the song won't go to bed. The fact is that being able to give something, whether it's a tangible present, or money, a bit of help, or advice, can bestow a sense of self-worth, and power. After all, it's proof that you have something to give.
But because I have a disability that's visible at 500 yards, lots of people seem far more eager to give to me than receive gifts from me. I'm in my 40s, and yet I've had workers in stores (notably Walmart, but also, bizzarrely, the local supermarket) try to press lollipops into my hands (People! I never liked lollipops even when I was 6!) . I've offered the space of the empty basket on the back of my wheelchair to fellow students struggling at a door with an armload of books, only to get the reply: "Oh, no! I don't want to be any trouble..." (If it were trouble, I wouldn't have offered, and it's not like I can outrun you, and steal your books). This attitude puts me in the position of being a perpetual child (or at least, it feels that way), and it gets old quickly.
Besides: "It's better to give than to receive" just doesn't make any sense. If everyone strives to be better, and everyone gives, and no one receives, to whom, then, are we giving? Receiving graciously just as hard as giving generously, and you can't have one without the other.
But I don't actually say that in the song, as it stands now. Here are the current second and third verses:
There is a new light shining in the dark
As fragile as a candle in the snow
Yet one small flame can light ten thousand sparks;
When passed from hand to hand, the Light will grow.
So when I fear the cold and darkness, too,
And sorrows seem to gather 'round my door
I'll open up my heart to love from you
And it shall light my way forevermore.
---
"So when..." sounds like a conclusion to an argument -- an argument I don't actually make (maybe my mind is flinching away from the sore spot). I'm now trying to write a verse to go between those two -- one that expands the idea that giving is empowering and receiving is sometimes hard, and trying to make it all fit into 40 syllables.
Watch this space.
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no subject
Date: 2005-01-22 05:44 pm (UTC)I often struggle very hard to give, and then have people discount that I've given something because it's still way less than they feel they've given to me... and they know I still need more.
It is really hard to receive, especially when everyone is telling you that it's better to give. Maybe I should just concentrate on receiving for a while, and try to do it well.
*nods
Date: 2005-01-22 06:06 pm (UTC)I've even spent 5 hours trying to get off the floor after I've fallen rather than call a neighbor for help, and be up in a few minutes, simply because I don't want to be seen as helpless all the time. Which is really silly and counterproductive.
But it really is true that we create the universe around us through our intent and our actions. If we concentrate on receiving graciously, than maybe others will receive from us with more grace.
I'm up to the challenge if you are! ;-)
Re: *nods
Date: 2005-01-22 07:27 pm (UTC)Re: *nods
Date: 2005-01-22 11:48 pm (UTC)(and I'll post the finished song in Mudcat, too... I already posted a thread about it, but I can update).
no subject
Date: 2005-01-23 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-23 03:41 am (UTC)So sorry... will try to send by Monday!!