Dreams and Doctor Who, again...

[capri0mni]

This could almost be a contination of this post (February 18, 2005). Heck... no "almost" about it -- it is.

So last night, I went into beebleblog2005's journal and finally click on that Trailer #5 for the new Who.

I don't think I'm spoilering things by saying: Wow (even though my computer plays it back with the audio and video over a second out of sync). I watch it several times over.

Then, this morning, I have dreams with scenes of the new console room (and EcclestonDoc) popping up at random times -- and there's a bear wandering around the back yard (kinda hard to explain). And (here's where its a continuation of that not-going-to-Gallifrey dream) my mother. We're in a sewing supply store, and I see a child's learning sewing machine that my mother gave me as a gift when I was around five or so (yes, I remember, because she helped me sew a scarf which I later wore to kindergarten), only it's been modernized and updated, with all sorts of extras. (And, btw, indefatigable42 is there, shopping, too... but we don't converse). Anyway, mother says to me: "If you want it, you should get it. Don't worry if it's over your budget. I'll buy it for you."

Now, ever since mother died in 1991, when she's shown up in my dreams, she's always been critical -- that I'm not living up to my potential -- that I'm slacking. I think that's because of the timing of her death: Just weeks after my children's novel was turned down by an agent, just days before I was planning to come home for a final farewell, and right on the morning when I finally figure out how I could write a second novel she wanted me to try (I was actually calling to tell her my idea when Dad broke the news to me of her death); I think my inner child somehow believed that she left me because I disappointed her, even though, intellectually, I know that's not true.

Now, within the space of 2 1/2 months, I have two dreams where my mother goes out of her way to let me know she supports me, and is proud of me -- and both of them have Doctor Who in the background. For some reason, my subconscious links my mother with the Doctor. And I'm not exactly sure why -- she wasn't a fan with me, or anything.

But it's something that makes me go: "hmmmm." In a happy way.

yes.

Comments

[rustyverse.livejournal.com]

What a sweet, dream, Ann! Here's how it strikes me: the sewing machine that you had when you were a kid and your mom are the central and most important elements...the sewing machine is something that a child can use to have fun with and yet teach a valuable skill.

After all of these years, you've come across the sewing machine again, this time its updated with extra features, even. Your mother is really encouraging you to get it, meanwhile, Chris Eccleston and and a friend of ours is hovering in the background. You aren't conversing with them, but if you need to ask either one of them for their opinions, they are right there.

I think that the central message of your dream is a suggestion that you take up writing again. If you've never actually stopped writing, I think that the suggestion is that you step up efforts to get published.

I dream is an answer to a question that you haven't yet thought of asking.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... could be.

I am actually writing now more than I was then... but I'm writing stories on commission, for individuals, privately.

This could be a call to think in a wider sphere, again -- to risk thinking publically, and for public consumption... maybe to go back and recreate that novel from scratch (like the Doctor, risk going out into the wider universe).

Also, the more I think about it, I am more certain of a direct connection between my mother and the character of the Doctor. She wasn't a big fan of fantasy or Sci-fi, but she was an iconoclast of the first order -- as a young woman (teenager) in the '50's her dream was to be a test pilot, and throughout her life she confronted powerful people in government and business for social justice; At her memorial, we printed up several of her personal mottos on banners, and hung them in our main hallway:

Question Authority;
Press on Regardless;
Proceed and the Path Will Open;
Assume Nothing,
and:
Things Work Out
(even if they don't work out like you expect them to)

If the Doctor were real, she and he would've gotten on like a house-o'-fire.

[drox.livejournal.com]

...she was an iconoclast of the first order

Sounds like a very intense and wonderful person!

If I had to guess, I'd say your dream is a signal that you're getting past the insecurity of wondering whether you'll ever be good enough to follow in your mother's footsteps, and moving on to make your own path and not care so much whether your mother (or anyone else) thinks you're good enough.

She *did* show support for your actions in the dream, which would seem to indicate you *are* good enough.

The child's sewing machine might represent a link to your past. You've moved beyond the need for it, but it's still a fond memory, and it's okay to wallow, especially in something so useful and instructive. Wallowing has its costs, but your mother offered to pay them. Perhaps there will be some sort of reward for examining your past.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Actually, I haven't moved beyond the need for it. And I really wish I had it back. One thing that made that sewing machine useful is that it worked without a foot pedal, unlike adult machines. This is a big reason why I don't do my own sewing, today (I use a wheelchair, and have minimal mobility in my feet).

It is a tool, though, and maybe this is a signal that I should dig around in my "toolbox" and return to the things I once had great enthusiasm for (like Doctor Who), reminding me that the tools I thought I had lost can always be found again, and maybe improved this time...

Hmmm.... maybe I shoud Google for "child's sewing machine"

[drox.livejournal.com]

Actually, I haven't moved beyond the need for it. And I really wish I had it back.

Ooops. Shows what I know. But you have moved beyond some things from your childhood, maybe still needing this particular thing just underscores how important it is to hang on to childhood memories.

Or maybe I should give up the dream-interpretation sideline.

Ebay might be a good place to look, if you really want a sewing machine like you used to have. Good luck.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Ebay might be a good place to look, if you really want a sewing machine like you used to have.

Well, I don't remember much about it (this was 36 years ago), and I might want a snazzier one -- I'm sure they've improved remarkably since 1969...

Doctor Who, sewing machines: all of it snazzy and new! ;-)

[drox.livejournal.com]

Doctor Who, sewing machines: all of it snazzy and new! ;-)

Yeah, it does seem like a dream come true, doesn't it.

Pinch me, I want to be sure this is real!

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

*pinch!*