Saturday six (Storytellers' edition)

(Inspired by gordon_r_d's "Friday five")

Warnings: You have a life-long English/Literature student, here -- I love essay questions, and just because I'm asking these questions doesn't mean I've thought through all (or any) of the answers myself...

1) You are a hero on a quest. Are you:
a) hunting down a viscious monster that is terrorizing the people and kidnapping fair royal offspring?
b) off to seek fame and fortune?
c) seeking the Water of Life to save a dying family member or loved one?
d) just going on a quick jog to the market to buy a bit of better butter for your batter?

2) While on your quest, you meet an ugly dwarf at the crossroads, and instead of being repulsed or repulsive, you very politely stop and chat about your quest. In return, the dwarf gives you a boon -- an object that looks more ordinary than ordinary (i.e. something dug from a trash heap), but is really magical, and will change into something that will give you exactly what you need when you need it. Is it:
a) a loaf of stale bread (likely to become a feast, and/or quell the appitite of a man-eating beastie)
b) a pair of worn-out old boots with the laces missing (likely to become "Seven league boots" that will enable you to travel seven leagues [21 miles/33.6 km] in a single stride)
c) a rusty old sword (defeats entire armies, probably)
d) an out-of tune fiddle (makes everyone who hears it dance until you stop playing)

3) You get zapped into a storybook world. Is it:
a) The Hundred Acre Wood
b) Narnia
c) Wonderland
d) Never-never Land
e) Middle Earth
f) Oz

4) You somehow travel 100 years into the future, and observe (unseen and unheard) all the places you used to know. You are surprised to hear people talk about you as an influential figure in history. What are they saying?

5) If you were to dream up your ideal being/beastie, would it:
a) have wings
b) have gills
c) sparkle
d) have machine parts
e) be humaniod
f) breathe fire
g) have "unusual" sexuality (androngynous, clone, or ...?)
h) all of the above

6) Do you consider yourself more of a
a) Wizard
b) Knight
c) royal offspring
d) village idiot
e) Master Thief
f) farmer
g) the big, bad ogre?