Just got a call from my cousin Toni...

[capri0mni]

Father is now officially on his deathbed. He's on morphine, and no longer conscious. And the doctors told her that he's basically having one heart attack after another. He's not in any pain, because of the morphine drip, but... *sigh*, The doctors say that the cancer has spread to his liver, and there's an infection in his blood and bones. When Toni went to the nursing home to pick up his things, the nurse said that his body just started failing right after I left, and she sees this kind of thing all the time.

*Sigh*

Toni did say that one of the last things he did while conscious was start playing "Patty Cake" with them (She and her S.O., Bob). That's at least a nicer set of last words than: "Oh, shit!"... I think he was channeling his mother, Josephine, really. Toni wanted to stay until he actually passed, but there was a storm coming, and they couldn't get a room in any of the nearby hotels, so they drove back to Allentown. The doctors will call her as soon as he actually dies, and then, she'll call me. And then, we'll have to figure out who to invite to the memorial service, and all...

*Sigh* again.

A bit numb, here. This has been a long, rather sucky, year... I wish I had brothers and sisters, but I don't, so...

And I wish you guys could've met him, but you couldn't've, so...

Blah.

Comments

[trinalin.livejournal.com]

*hugs* My heart goes out to you.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *Sigh*

[judiang.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I know this is a hellish time for you. Even though I can't be there, please know I'm thinking of you.

[lizziebelle.livejournal.com]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. If you don't feel like chatting tonight, I'll understand. On the other hand, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

[blinovitch.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, Ann. It sounds like you're coping admirably with a horrible situation. You and your family will get through this.

[indefatigable42.livejournal.com]

*cradles you*

[jekesta]

I'm so sorry, love. ::hugs lots:: I can't imagine how you're feeling, but am thinking of you obviously, and sending lots of love your way. Wish we coudl all be there to hug you in person.

[jbsegal.livejournal.com]

At least one of us did…
My thoughts are with you.

[cyloran.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. *hugs*

[kalibex.livejournal.com]

:(

[gordon-r-d.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Don't know what to say, other than all my prayers and hopes are with you both.

[uncacreamy.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, so so sorry. I wish there was something to say, or something I could do for you. I'm glad that you got to see him.

[rob-t-firefly.livejournal.com]

I am very sorry to learn this. My thoughts are with you and yours.
Please let me know if there's anythng at all I can do.

[samantha2074.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Words are inadequate.

[scarfman]

All condolences.

[narm00.livejournal.com]

:(

It's... well, it's flat out /crappy/ knowing your parent's dying, isn't it? Waiting for the end to come, for it to finally be over for them - but also /not/ wanting it to be over, wanting them to still be around, to still be the person you knew...

Went through it with my mum earlier this year. It hurts. Not easy. Not pleasant. Just... counting down, until it's over. Then trying to pick up your life, after. Trying to sort things out...

Trying to do what we can. Somehow.

{{hugs}}

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

Oh, Imran. I had no idea. :(

*hugs*

[swiftangel.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I wish there were some words I could say that might help. I don't know that there are any.

I'm here if you need me.

[leenah.livejournal.com]

hugs and smooches darling.

i had my mother taken off the respirator, because she really wanted to be off it. we had this non-conversation where she tried to talk to me, and couldn't get words out, and tried to write, but her writing was always crappy anyway and just impossible to read. eventually she started sounding angy, and i said my goodbyes and left. she died a short time later.

she and i had had our last good conversation months earlier, when she was still well enough to chatter (though she likely knew she'd never leave the hospital again). i'm so thankful i had that time with her.

i'm an only child too. times like that i really wished i had siblings to share the load. but i survived. it takes TIME to feel 'normal' again. i knew i'd be okay, but i had no idea HOW that would happen. the death of a parent is such a hard thing.

take care of yourself. sending you love.

[snowgrouse.livejournal.com]

Crap.

*squeezes HARD*