That call that finally came: Obit: my dad

[capri0mni]

This is the post I just put up at the mudcat forum, 'cause I just don't have the energy to type all this out twice:

I received a call from my cousin, Toni, this morning. Father passed away today at approximately 3:30 in the morning. He was just shy of 80 years old.

He has been... "battling" sounds wrong, in reference to him, so I'll say dealing with lung cancer for about a year. For the full saga, you can see this thread: BS: CapriUni's dad in hospital.

I have no brothers or sisters; my mother died 15 years ago, and my cousins are scattered to the four winds. So, really, he was the last close family I had, and it now falls to my lot to build a new family for myself.
received a call from my cousin, Toni, this morning. Father passed away today at approximately 3:30 in the morning. He was just shy of 80 years old.

He has been... "battling" sounds wrong, in reference to him, so I'll say dealing with lung cancer for about a year. For the full saga, you can see this thread: BS: CapriUni's dad in hospital.

I have no brothers or sisters; my mother died 15 years ago, and my cousins are scattered to the four winds. So, really, he was the last close family I had, and it now falls to my lot to build a new family for myself.

He was not a Mudcatter, nor, really, much of a lurker (he never developed the habit of websurfing), though he did enjoy hearing of musical tidbits I'd relate to him from this forum. When he was a young man in the navy, he went through an artic wilderness survival course, and during the portion of the course when he was alone for several days, he came to the realization that the only thing he'd really miss of human civilization, if he ended up being the last person on Earth, was music.

He loved dixieland jazz, and classical, and Odetta, and the better advertizing jingles.

I've been preparing myself for this day since he was diagnosed with cancer, back in January, so this news has not hit me like the body blow my mother's death did. But I'm still working out his life story in my head (after the signing of the legal papers, and all, I guess the next job I'll have to turn my mind to is writing his obituary for the local papers). It's a bit of a puzzle, since nearly all the people, besides him, that could help me pin down the details are also dead (he was the youngest of seven).

Sigh.

Comments

[scarfman]

I haven't commented on this subject before because I don't know what to say. All condolences.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Just knowing that there are people out there receiving my words is a big help, even if they don't say a lot in response.

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

Same goes for me. I've read every entry, but I don't have the right words ...

[lizziebelle.livejournal.com]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. Even if you know it's coming, it's still hard when it really happens.

[leenah.livejournal.com]

imagine a friend sitting with you, holding your hand, or giving you a hug.

that's me. i'm sorry dear.

[gordon-r-d.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I@m so, so sorry to hear this. If you want to talk I'll be on AIM later or e-mail me.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Will do... though, mad as it may be, I might be diving headlong into my Nano-vel- sort of like mental treading water, so I don't go under, and I may feel the need to keep the phonelines open (I know, I know. I need to get onto broadband...).

[gordon-r-d.livejournal.com]

No prob, completely understand. *bighugs*

[indefatigable42.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

If you want any Canadian cousins in that new extended family, let me know...

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. I think you're already there... after all, you've shown up in dreams along with my mother.

[snowgrouse.livejournal.com]

*Hugs you very, very tight*

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

I don't think {sigh{ really covers it.

What can I say but I'm thinking of you.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Nothing really covers it, to be honest. But I have been sighing a lot, of late, and of all the icons I've got, that one is the saddest.

And I don't really thing this one (points up and to the left) is really appropriate, either, even if it is the blackest...

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

Outrageously inappropriate :)

When you're putting together that obituary and going over his life, I hope you'll be finding out and/or remembering what a great life he had.

I'm one of those celebrate-the-life rather than mourn-the-death people, but then I'm lucky enough to not yet have lost anyone that close to me. I believe that someone's death should be a time to say, hey, this great person was alive, and he did all this amazing stuff, and I was a part of that.

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I keep forgetting to change MY icon. Donny isn't appropriate either. Damn LJ and their comment editing embargo.

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

I'm one of those celebrate-the-life rather than mourn-the-death people

Me, too. Though, as I learned with my mother's death, you really cannot help but do both simultaneously.

[kalibex.livejournal.com]

I offer my condolences.

[swiftangel.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[samantha2074.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear you've lost someone you obviously love so much.

[trinalin.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Capri - you are in my thoughts.

[barbarafett.livejournal.com]

*more hugs*

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

*LOTS OF HUGS*

[abates.livejournal.com]

:( *hugs*

[jekesta]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you're feeling, but am sending you love and good thoughts and many hugs. ::hugs lots::