I think I may be staying up all night, catching up on my NaNo instead of sleeping....

[capri0mni]

The writing isn't coming as easily as I want it to. But it's coming a heck of a lot easier than sleep. And regardless of the fact that NaNoWriMo insists that a day lasts from midnight till midnight, in my world, it lasts from sleeping until the next sleeping. So, as long as I reach my word goal by the time I next go to sleep (whenever the hell that may be), I'm still on target... right?

I figure I have about 800 words left to go. But it's hard to tell, because NaNo's counter is stingier with my words than OpenOffice is, and the closer to my goal I get, the stingier NaNoWriMo gets. For the first few thousand words, the difference was -20 words, or so. Now that I'm over 35K, the difference is -80 words, or so. I think, before I reach 50K, the difference may well be 100 words.

My logical brain realizes this is probably just a matter of precentages, and really, the difference is steady. But my feeling brain says this is totally unfair and a bit of a conspiracy.

Also, I'm moving from feeling just plain sad/detatched over my father's death to feeling sad/detached/freaking out over his death. This may be one reason why I don't really want to sleep, right now. :-/

At least LJ's autosave feature is working. That's reassuring, a little bit, at least.

Comments

[kalibex.livejournal.com]

*cat head bunt*

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Thank you. What started the freak out was remembering that there's a woman who used to be in our family as a foster child, before she ran away just a few days shy of her sixth month with us, back when I was like, four years old (I remember watching the first moon walk with her, on TV). And through the years, she treated us as an extension/surragate family.

She's been married, has two grown children, but has turned out to be very mentally unstable: manic depressive, refusing all meds, with violent outbursts. And she's now in a state mental institution in NJ. Well, every holiday, she's been calling my father collect for years to just ramble on. They're very depressing phone calls, but what can you do, especially if she won't hear or listen to your advice?

Anyway, I realized, late last night that she would have probably tried to call him collect for Thanksgiving. And would have gotten the answering machine, so her collect call would have been denied. And she doesn't have a phone, and I'm not even sure the name of the hospital she's staying in, so I don't know how to tell her, and ....grah.

And then I got to thinking about my money situation: I'm father's sole heir, so the money is there to live on, but I don't know his bank account number, or his accountant's name, and I have these questions about how the inheritance will affect my social security and taxes, and all, and I don't have a lawyer to contact, or anything, and it was late at night and my brain was tired, and I'm feeling like I'm kind of floating in a bubble with no way to break out of it... and ... more grah....

You know what I mean....

I love your kitty, by the way. Is that cat a member of your own family? And what is it about the smell of stinky feet that cats love so much?