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capri0mniThese are things that I plan to change in my script, come July. But I won't touch them until the final word count (I'm not that crazy!). I'm just writing them down, here, so I know I won't forget them in three weeks (so I'll even be less tempted to make the changes now).
That's it, for now. The last two are the biggest.
Woke up ridiculously early today. Off for caffeine, and a quick, twenty-minute lie down... Then, I can stay awake late into the wee hours, and spill my word hoard all over the place.
- [E.T.A. How could I forget to mention the first thing I need to do?]
- Snippity-snip the dialogue. Man, oh, man! Does it ever show that I've read a lot of Shakespeare?! My characters don't open their mouths except to give speeches.
- Shorten it. A 20,000-word (draft) script works out to about an hour and forty minute movie. A fairy tale story is often snappier at an hour and twenty, or so (or less).
- Shorten both montages (the back story, and the travelogue). 'Cause, you know, if you put in every detail, why bother with a montage?
- Scrap the fancy carriage, carriage driver, and excort of four extra knights. Make it so it's just the four of them travelling, by horseback and pack mule (for the dowry). The knights aren't doing anything, and it only ups the gorendeath-o-meter when I'll have to kill them all for the sake of the plot in a few minutes. One brutal slaying by bandits in the forest is enough (and easier to write, without doing all sorts of believability sommersaults). I don't need an extra five...
[ETA #2: Aww, screw it. I can't bring myself to kill those five extra people. So, for the sake of my wordcount and my sanity, I'm just going to pretend they were never there to begin with (ssshhhhh!).] - Change the snippets of conversation about the evil monster that Prince Cadwell killed (I've already got the messenger telling the story in one go, the night before Adelaide is due to meet him). Make them snippets of conversation about his family, and what he was like as a boy. Just as long as there's something there, so Gretel can enthuse about how lucky Adelaide is to be marrying him -- every few minutes (so that when Adelaide decides to make the switch, there's enough there for her to convince herself that she's doing Gretel a favor). Note to self: Come up with a history for Cadwell's family.
That's it, for now. The last two are the biggest.
Woke up ridiculously early today. Off for caffeine, and a quick, twenty-minute lie down... Then, I can stay awake late into the wee hours, and spill my word hoard all over the place.
