"Missing Commas" for alto2

[capri0mni]

(the poem I was talking about yesterday)

MISSING COMMAS
(and periods)

I saw a peacock with a fiery tail
I saw a blazing comet drop down hail
I saw a cloud with ivy curled around
I saw a sturdy oak creep on the ground
I saw an ant swallow up a whale
I saw a raging sea brim full of ale
I saw a Venice glass sixteen feet deep
I saw a well full of men's tears that weep
I saw their eyes all in a flame of fire
I saw a house as high as the moon and higher
I saw the sun at twelve o'clock at night
I saw a man who saw this wondrous sight.

(From The Mother Goose Treasury, illustrated by Raymond Briggs; copyright 1966, Coward-McCann, Inc. New York)

Comments

[indefatigable42.livejournal.com]

I loved this one when I was little. ^__^

That said, I don't know who in their right mind would write some of those sentences. "Full of men's tears that weep, I saw their eyes"?

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

yeah... some of those sentances are stretched, as on a wrack, just make a rhyme.

"Full of tears, I saw their eyes." would be a little bit better.

But yeah, the tears arem't weepimg... unless that's an archaic meaning of the word. "Full of tears that seep" might be better in modern parlance...

[indefatigable42.livejournal.com]

Even when they aren't stretched, they're just weird. But maybe that's a stylistic choice that's fallen out of fashion. I would say "I saw a Venice glass brim-full of ale", not "Brim-full of ale, I saw a Venice glass".

Actually, now that I write it out, I think it's actually incorrect. The stuff before the comma, grammatically speaking, applies to the subject ("I"), not the object ("a Venice glass"). That makes it sound like I was brim-full of ale when I saw a Venice glass. Not that I mind being brim-full of ale, but I don't think that's what it was supposed to mean. ^^;;

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Yes, well. What started this was a discussion of the wording of the Second Ammendment, and where the commas should (or should not) go.

A well regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.

Without any commas at all, this too, sounds twisted and awkward to my eares.

I have a feeling that "Missing Commas" was composed with British schoolboys of the Nineteenth Century in mind, spoofing the Latin rhetoric and grammer they had to memorize.

[alto2.livejournal.com]

Very interesting! Thanks for sharing this :)

[capriuni.livejournal.com]

Glad you like it (Briggs goes all out in the two-page spread illustration, as you can imagine)!