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capri0mniGot this in my email when I signed on to post my latest LJ entry. The subject line was "Women," But I think "Miser" works just as well:
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, and came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in the casket
with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and then I wrote him a check."
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, and came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in the casket
with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and then I wrote him a check."
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HAHAHA
Date: 2003-05-18 03:46 pm (UTC)Re: HAHAHA
Date: 2003-05-19 08:44 am (UTC)So, how'd your varient go? Jokes are really just folktales in miniture, and I collect folktales, so I'm curious.
Re: HAHAHA
Date: 2003-05-19 09:22 am (UTC)Re: HAHAHA
Date: 2003-05-19 01:36 pm (UTC)Though, otoh, the lawyer version is probably more realistic. If the guy loved money so much, I can't see him ever getting married...
no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 08:50 am (UTC)The person who sent that to me is actually the Captain of Greenpeace's Rainbow Warrior, Peter Wilcox (yes, I'm name-dropping. But his name is a good one, and deserves to be out there). My mother hired him to be Captain of the Clearwater when I was 11/12, and he's been a friend of the family ever since. The only real contact I have with him these days are when he sends out jokes like this to massive numbers of people... But they are always good jokes.