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capri0mniETA: seeing it typed, shows me where tweaks should go...
ETA #2: and reciting it to myself, the last couple of days, highlighted yet more wobbly bits -- latest tweaking to fix grammar and clarity of voice:
A Fable
(of sorts)
A Tortoise once said to a Hare:
"I challenge you, Friend, to a dare;
Let's run a foot race --
See who takes first place
(I believe 'twill be I)," he declared.
Now, the Hare thought this was a great joke,
For, in running, he'd never once choked.
The race day was set.
And the animals met
And the bettors, they all went for broke.
While a Fox, in a vineyard close by,
Saw some grapes on a vine way up high.
And jump as he might,
He could not reach their height,
So decided they weren't worth the try.
Just that moment, with casual grace,
Came the Hare (quite enjoying his "race").
"Ah! Now there goes my lunch
(Not some sour grape bunch!)"
Said the Fox, as he took up the chase.
Two started the race, on that day.
Two finished, and here's how it played:
The Hare won the deal,
With the Fox at his heels.
Where's the Tortoise? Well... no one can say.
And that is where this story ends.
I'm afraid there's no moral, my friends.
But if you insist,
It's as simple as this:
"Carrots are straight, and Bananas have bends."
ETA #2: and reciting it to myself, the last couple of days, highlighted yet more wobbly bits -- latest tweaking to fix grammar and clarity of voice:
A Fable
(of sorts)
A Tortoise once said to a Hare:
"I challenge you, Friend, to a dare;
Let's run a foot race --
See who takes first place
(I believe 'twill be I)," he declared.
Now, the Hare thought this was a great joke,
For, in running, he'd never once choked.
The race day was set.
And the animals met
And the bettors, they all went for broke.
While a Fox, in a vineyard close by,
Saw some grapes on a vine way up high.
And jump as he might,
He could not reach their height,
So decided they weren't worth the try.
Just that moment, with casual grace,
Came the Hare (quite enjoying his "race").
"Ah! Now there goes my lunch
(Not some sour grape bunch!)"
Said the Fox, as he took up the chase.
Two started the race, on that day.
Two finished, and here's how it played:
The Hare won the deal,
With the Fox at his heels.
Where's the Tortoise? Well... no one can say.
And that is where this story ends.
I'm afraid there's no moral, my friends.
But if you insist,
It's as simple as this:
"Carrots are straight, and Bananas have bends."
no subject
Date: 2012-07-09 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-09 01:02 am (UTC)