Here's the comment I posted on today's entry in "Rolling Around in My Head"

[capri0mni]

Context: Yesterday, in reporting on the story of Jenny Hatch, Dave Hingsburger pointed out that people with disabilities are the only ones who have scientists with clipboards collecting data on them to prove, scientifically, that freedom is better than captivity.

...There was a lot of push-back against that. Generally along the lines of: "But lots of people still have to fight for freedom, and human rights!"

In today's post, he defended his statement, and the point that talking about what is unique about the discrimination different minorities face is valid, and does not mean that we're trying to outdo each other.

This is the reply I was prompted to make, and I thought folks here would be interested in reading it:

[Begin quote]

From my experience (as someone with a congenital disabling condition), I've come to the conclusion that the discrimination disabled folk face is psychologically and socially difficult in two unique ways:

1) More often then not, we're minorities within our own families, so we often experience oppression from those who should be protecting us from it (the stories of Eve and Jenny both illustrate this).

2) And, unlike gay and transgender people, who are also often isolated within their families (and therefore, are subject to cruelty and injustice, as well), very few people with disabilities are able to "pass" as either able-bodied or neurotypical for the sake of their own safety.

Even if a disabled kid is lucky, like I was, and wins the "supportive parents" lottery, being alone in your family means sometimes going without the emotional and practical support you need. My mother was fantastic with helping me deal with sexism, because she'd had experience with that herself, and had figured out ways to get through it. But if I came home from school complaining about how the newly-waxed hallways made it hard to get to class on my crutches (for example), she was at a loss.

And, while this wasn't always the case (and was, itself, the result of hard-won battles for social justice), it's now recognized that children in racial, ethnic, and religious minorities need some contact with adult role models from their own minority to help them grow and learn. I've yet to see that same recognition for children with disabilities.

[end quote]

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

I think that you make your point -- as always -- eloquently.

As you recognize, there are a variety of people who can experience the abandonment and danger that comes with being isolated in their own families. In addition to people with disabilities, this experience is common for LGBT people and transracial adoptees.

I've been pondering "passing" for the past few months, so this may be my muddle waddling in to your discourse: in (2) are you proposing passing as a way to insulate oneself from family cruelty? Again, this is an issue for transracial adoptees.

I still wonder at the urge to claim uniqueness. Humans come in so many fits and finishes, chances are good there will be overlap somewhere. I want to respect all the various experiences which people bring to a night at the con, or a town meeting, or the Presidency. There are so many under-represented groups who "get it" when it comes to being stared at -- something I know you and I encounter for one shared reason (visible assistive technology) and one that's yours alone (atypical muscle tone). My hunch is communication is built on a balance: respect plus recognition of the experiences we share.

[capri0mni]

As for "passing," yes... Over the years, I've met some youths online, gay and/or transgendered, who expressed fear over "coming out" to their families because they were certain it would make them unsafe. This, in itself, is a cruelty. And the tactic may not always work. But it is more likely to be an option that the person has some control over.

Children with disabilities are, statistically, 50% more likely to suffer physical abuse at the hands of their families than able-bodied kids, because a) they are often blamed for whatever extra stress the family is experiencing, and b) they are less likely to be able to defend themselves.

...

Although "unique," is, by definition, an absolute, in reality, it's more of a spectrum -- like nearly everything else in the real world. Each individual way we experience bigotry is unique in some way, and all of us experience common feelings of exclusion as well.

But Ableism is different from racism, which is different from sexism, is different from homophobia. Giving space to each helps us battle it all.

[spiralsheep]

Mixed race people also "pass" your "unique" points, as do non-white people adopted, for example, by white parents in a white-dominated society. This is, of course, not a prize worth winning... and doesn't invalidate the fact that your points apply to disabled people (who are your focus).

children in racial, ethnic, and religious minorities need some contact with adult role models from their own minority to help them grow and learn. I've yet to see that same recognition for children with disabilities.

This, imo, is much closer to a realistic generalisation (although there are still exceptions both wrt disabilities and other socially disadvantaged groups).

[capri0mni]

Mixed race people also "pass" your "unique" points, as do non-white people adopted, for example, by white parents in a white-dominated society.

Point taken.

As for adult role models... I'm mulling over how to petition Sesame Street to hire disabled adult actors for their cast. They're great at showing kids with a wide variety of disabilities playing with able-bodied kids. But none of the current crop of adults are disabled (In the past, they'd had Linda Bove, who's Deaf, and a native signer; but she was more representative of cultural variety than disability).

[raze]

"Dave Hingsburger pointed out that people with disabilities are the only ones who have scientists with clipboards collecting data on them to prove, scientifically, that freedom is better than captivity."

Oof. This is such a punch-to-the-gut statement that really makes the issue very simple. My grandmother was forcibly institutionalized; when my mother told me about it, she spoke like these things don't happen any more. I reminded her that for some segments of the population, it ISN'T a thing of the past to remove people from their homes and force them into captivity "for their own good."

Also: I thought about you and your posts about disability and social attitudes thereto yesterday when a coworker was telling me about how her mother has degenerative disc disease and recently bought a wheelchair. With a laugh - but you could tell it was kindof an uncomfortable one - she said, "Yeah, she said it makes her back feel so much better, but my stepdad yells at her when she wants to take it out in public and tells her to get up and walk because she's embarrassing him." My jaw about dropped to the floor and it took a moment for me to finally say, "That's... not funny. That's not funny at all. That's HORRIBLE. There is nothing embarrassing about loving someone in a wheelchair, and if it's helping her, his LAST concern should be image." She got very sober-faced at that and said, "Yeah... I mean... he should be pushing it when her arms get tired since she's new to it, not yelling at her." But that's what we do: we laugh it off because we don't want to confront how absolutely fucked up the societal outlook on disability is.

[capri0mni]

Thank you for speaking up to your coworker.

Maybe that will help give her courage to speak up to her father.

Here's another Dave Hingsburger essay (from last June) that I keep going back to: Throne of Shame:

Maybe that comes as a surprise to others who don't really understand that when someone says 'too proud' they really mean, 'not proud enough.'

Because people with pride stuff their ears with bright blue hearing aids, sit down in florescent green wheelchairs and have their hair dyed purple to match their walkers.

People with pride live out.